I have seen the Dumbass


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I have lived in Houston since 1996. I know how easily Houston streets flood when it rains. Inevitably, during and after every significant rain fall, local news channels have shots of cars stranded in high water. I would watch that and wonder what the dumbasses were thinking navigating their lowrider Honda through 2 ft of water. Shake my head at the idiots and move on.

It started raining yesterday afternoon. Turned into a downpour in the evening and just kept going. I quit work at around 6 and headed to the gym, which is at work. Headed home around 7 pm. Ordered dinner at Yia Yia Mary’s, a greek restaurant owned by the Pappas a couple of blocks from my house. Turned the corner on to my street and that is when I saw first signs of standing water. So far the commute had been wet but did not see any flooding. But now I was on my street. I was tantalizingly close to home and I had dinner. About 10 yards from my gate, the car conked out. You mofo on a stick! I am also practically in the middle of the street. I cuss for a few seconds and open the door. Thankfully, the water has not gotten into the car. I jump out. the water comes up above my ankles. I stuff my dinner into the gym bag and wade to the front door. Sneakers are soaked.

I eat dinner and call AAA. They’ll be on their way in 90 minutes, which was an optimistic estimate. I check the car from my balcony and notice the water has receded. I google stalled cars in flood and practically all sites admonish you not to start the car after it is flooded out. Run the risk of destroying the engine. I decide that I will need to call AAA again the next morning to take it to the shop and I don’t want to use up the 4 calls per year I can make. Never mind that this is the first time I have called AAA.

So, I put my soaking tennis shoes back on, sans socks, and head down. Able to push the car to the side of the road. Very tempting to see if it would start but I control myself. Call AAA and cancel. Very nice people at AAA. English speakers, too.

Wake up the next morning, ready to call, the repair shop, AAA and my boss. Peer out the window. It’s raining and the street is flooded again. $%!!$%!$%!#$!#$%$^@$%!$!#$!#$^%^!Q!!!!!!

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